Long weekends are precious

It’s Friday (TGIF!!!) and the eve of the long Labour Day weekend. My parents are arriving in Singapore in about an hour’s time and I am so excited to see them again. I really enjoy spending time with them and I have definitely missed their company over the last few months since I last saw them at Christmas ’04. I can tell that the entire office is brimming with excitement over the long weekend. So Happy Labour Day to all you workers out there… this is a well deserved holiday and as my colleague says “Long weekends… any long weekend for that matter… is precious…”

Toodle-oo

They understand

Some people have wondered why I seem to assimilate to easily to communicate with the deaf. Perhaps I have more in common with them than most people realise. They probably understand better than anyone else what it is like to be always on the outside looking in. To always be one step behind a conversation. To see an animated conversation and an exciting story being told, only to receive a 10-word summary at the end.

I am not demanding that all change their communication simply to accommodate me. I am only saying that my deaf friends will understand.

What is it like to be deaf
People have asked me
Deaf? Oh, hmmm, how do I explain that?
Simply, I can't hear

Nooo, it is much more than that
It is similar to a goldfish in a bowl
Always observing things going on
People talking all the times
It is like a man on his own island
Among foreigners

Isolation is no stranger to me
Relatives say hi and bye
But I sit for 5 hours among them
Taking great pleasure at amusing babies
Reading books, resting, helping out with food

Natural curiousity perks up
Upon seeing great laughter, crying, upsetness,
Inquiring only to meet with a "Never Mind" or
"Oh, it is not important,"
Getting a summarized statement
of the whole day

I'm supposed to smile to show my happiness
Little do they know how truly miserable I am
People are in control of language usage,
I am at loss and really uncomfortable!

Always feeling like an outsider
Among the hearing people
Even though it was not their intention

Always assuming that I am part of them
By my physical, not understanding
Their importance of communication

Facing the choice between Deaf Camping
Weekend or a Family Reunion
Facing the choice between the Family commitment
And Deaf Friends
I must make the choice constantly
Any wonder why I choose Deaf Friends???

I get such great pleasure at the Deaf clubs,
Before I realize it, it is already 2AM,
Whereas I anxiously look at the clock
Every few minutes at the Family Reunion

With Deaf People, I feel so normal
Our Communication flows back and forth
Catching up with little trivials, our daily life,
Our frustration in the bigger world,
Seeking the mutual understanding,
Contented smiles, and laughter are muscial
So magical to me
So attunded to each other's feelings
True happiness is so important

I feel more at home with Deaf people
Of various color, religion, short or tall
Than I do among my own hearing relatives
And you wonder why?
Our language is common
We understand each other

Being at loss of control
Of the environment that is communication
People panic and retreat to avoidance
Deaf people are like the plauge

But Deaf people are still human beings
With dreams, desires and needs
To belong, just like everyone else

Author-Unknown

A Chinese who cannot speak Chinese

I am Chinese but I cannot speak Chinese. To many, I don’t even look like a Chinese. Some identity crisis, huh?

Just yesterday. I was chided about the way I handled a sensitive case with one of the customers of our café. The conclusion was “Serene doesn’t know how to handle things in the ‘Chinese way’”.
This has been a recurring chorus in my life… I am not Chinese enough.

When friends laugh and poke fun at my inability to speak Chinese… I can only laugh along and agree what a terrible person I am, not being able to speak a word of my so called native language. Their eyes demand an explanation. I am obligated to justify myself… to offer an explanation for my condition. It must be some kind of sickness it seems.

When coffee shop aunties and taxi drivers speak to me to take my order or ask my destination, I can only try to follow as best as I can with my smattering of Chinese… and try my best to make myself understood with the few words and sentences I know in Chinese. I am already familiar with the look of disgust that shows on their face when they realise my handicap. It’s as if I am a traitor who does not have the right to move freely among them since I do not really belong as one of them.

Sometimes I watch other Chinese-look-a-likes but who clearly distinguish themselves as being mixed-blood or “Eurasian”. They get away with not needing to utter a word of Chinese simply because they are not “Pure Chinese”. And they are forgiven. It is not their fault. These people are satisfied with living apart from their Chinese heritage. They accept that they do not belong.

But is my ethnicity something I have to earn? I did not choose to be Chinese. I just am. Do I have to apologise to you because I do not follow your stereotype of what a Chinese person should be?

Discrimination comes in all kinds of forms. Sometimes I am tempted to register myself as a minority group. A Chinese who does not speak Chinese.

If Singapore guys are this bad, maybe Sam has a chance with his dream girl???

For Samuel’s benefit... here is an update of the premiere episode of “Eye for a Guy 2” which I watched yesterday.

When all the guys had a chance to see Denise Keller up close for the first time, all of them were smitten by her beauty. Snippets of their personal commentaries revealed that the only thought going through their minds was “Gosh, she’s so pretty!!!” Only one guy made a strong first impression by giving her a list of top 10 reasons why Denise should choose him. It was very weird and unusual… Denise had this surprised and puzzled look on her face… but she had to admit that this stuck in her mind.

Then all the guys had to go through a mini quiz and answer questions relating to BGR and dating and some just about themselves. They each picked a chocolate praline with a question stuck to it. Denise read out each question and the guy had to answer on the spot. One of the questions was “what music inspires you”. Music is very important to Denise, but the guy who was answering was very fake - he tried to do some research beforehand to impress Denise, but he couldn’t even pronounce the name of this artist properly (sounded something like Apacini). Another question was “what turns you off”. This guy tried to be cheeky and answered “big hoop earrings” - Denise was wearing big hoop earrings at that time. She understood that the guy was just trying to be funny - but it didn’t work.

After the quiz on, Denise gathered the guys to just chat with them to get to know them better. But they were so blur and probably shy. They just stood around like a rugby team and didn’t say much. Finally one cocky guy pulled Denise aside and told her he had a gift for her. He gave her an Irish wedding ring. To Denise, rings are VERY personal items, so she found it hard to accept… STRIKE ONE!!! Then the big hoop earrings guy pulled her aside to apologise for the “misunderstanding”. Denise was very nice about it, but he messed up again by trying to be cheeky again saying “go I get a kiss now?” - Denise was so not amused.

Then a competition was held to see who would win a group dinner date with Denise. The guys were divided into two teams and each team had to set up the ideal romantic dinner date for Denise. They had to set the table, decorate, cook and put it all together for Denise to judge. Team 1 provided entertainment by singing a song putting down the guys in Team 2 and boasting about how handsome and charming the guys in Team 1 were. Team 2 tried to copycat by singing “How Deep is Your Love”. Denise’s comment about was “They sang it so nicely…. Just not my kind of song…” *sigh*

Sam, do you think you can beat all the other guys if you were given the chance? Or would you be just too smitten by her beauty?

http://forum.mediacorp.com.sg/board//showthread.php?s=662e63e8b7d60cd00107b52549db4f54&threadid=16996

http://forum.mediacorp.com.sg/board//showthread.php?s=662e63e8b7d60cd00107b52549db4f54&threadid=20028

Marathon weekend at the Cafe

Hello… well, a lot has been happening on my side for the past few days. It has been a looong tiring weekend since Friday afternoon. Mabel was really sick last week since Wednesday. We had a major special event on Friday afternoon - product launch of a new game. The inventor of the game came to Singapore and organizers of the event chose to hold the launch at our café since we were a gaming café. On top of that, we had people from Disney Princess magazine who wanted to come to our café on the same day to do a review on our establishment. That same afternoon, some kids from a local primary school dropped by our café and wanted to feature us in their school magazine. Since Mabel was sick, I had to take half day leave to stand in for her. I was totally flat out by the end of the day!

The next day, we also had a major event - a children’s birthday party. Mabel was still sick so I was in charge of hosting the party. It was no party for me, that’s for sure. The family postponed the time of the event at very short noticed. They wanted the event to run from 4pm-8pm instead of the original time of 3.30pm-7.30pm. This affected other reservations made by customers who booked tables at 7.30pm onwards. Jorena and some of her friends dropped by our café at 7.00pm that night as well.
The mother of the birthday boy called the following day to complain about our service. It definitely got my spirits down quite a bit. MH was not very pleased either. I still had to put a bold front to continue serving customers on Monday night. By the end of it, I felt emotionally wrung and weakened… but yet I cannot show any sign of weakness! The customer is always right. And as service providers, we do not have the right to show any unhappiness or tiredness to the customer. This is the honest truth!

P.S. Mabel then told us on Sunday that she discovered that she was actually pregnant… which explained why she was feeling so ill lately. This is totally unexpected!

Eye For a Guy with Sam's dream girl

The new season of Singapore’s “Eye For a Guy” is coming soon. Sam should be greatly interested in this because the special girl that 10 guys will be competing for is… *drum roll*… DENISE KELLER!!!

Maybe I should give you some background about this local Singaporean reality dating show:

I watched the first season of “Eye For a Guy” last year. I smiled and laughed at the sweet and sometimes clumsy antics of local Singaporean guys vying for the favour of local Singaporean model, Rachel Lee. There would be tasks each episode for the guys to compete and the winner would win a mini date with Rachel Lee. At the end of each episode, Rachel would eliminate one of the guys. The winner would win a trip to Paris with Rachel. There was a major scandal about this show…

There were 2 finalists toward the end of the season - Mark and Sivert. Mark was more dashing and charming - but I personally thought he was being too flamboyant and sometimes fake (he had this American accent which I couldn’t stand). I liked Sivert who was quieter, more down to earth and steady. I didn’t like Rachel either who was quite an airhead and very fickle minded. During the last episode, she chose Sivert as the winner - for a while I thought she finally had some good sense in her little brain. But off-air a few weeks after that, Mark called Rachel and they got together as a couple. In the end, Mark joined Rachel and Sivert on their trip to Paris! Can you believe it!?!?!

Here is a letter written to Mediacorp about the whole issue between Mark, Sivert and Rachel:

Dear Mediacorp,

Firstly, I'd like to say that Ch5 is a Grrreat channel, & I've really enjoyed growing up with 5.... your programming, both local & foreign, are extremely entertaining. I really enjoy local shows like Blueprint, Incredible tales & Missing, & my fave local actress is Vernetta Lopez... she is so professional & makes acting look effortless. However, tonight's finale of Eye for a Guy left me with a bad taste in my mouth....I cannot believe that Mark is going to Paris with Sivert & Rachel....its really not right. Rachel chose Sivert as the winner, and all due respect should be given to him to enjoy being a winner. Instead, now he gets to be a third wheel, and I don't think he feels like a winner at all!! Rachel shouldn't be so fickle & decide who she actually wants.... she can't have her cake & eat it too!! Even if she decided that Mark is more suitable for her, she should still give Sivert the respect & honour her initial decision to share the trip to Paris with him & him alone!! There are many girls I know who are more than willing to go to Paris with a hunk like Sivert!! Rachel looked like a really nice girl in the beginning, but tonight showed her to be otherwise. I do wish her & Mark all the best, & I hope Sivert finds someone to go to Paris with him!!

Cheers,
Pamela

And guess what? A few months later, Rachel and Mark broke up.

I rest my case.

Sam, maybe I should have told you about this earlier so you could audition to be part of the show, eh? *wink*

Check her out, surrounded by so many local hunks!
http://ch5.mediacorptv.com/shows/reality/view/916/1/.html

Has your hubby cooked for you before?

Yes, he has cooked for me before. He doesn't really know how to prepare 'western style' cooking. But he noticed that I often like to order Yong Tau Foo for meal (actually I order it because it's healthy). So one day he called me at the office to tell me he was cooking Yong Tau Foo for dinner. He went and bought all the fish balls, bean curd, crabsticks etc... all by himself. I arrived home to see him happily fussing around in the kitchen. He cooked SO MUCH! I think he overestimated the amount of food... so we ate fishballs for the next 2 days for dinner. It was also sweet that he bought some authentic nonya style garlic chilli especially on my account, even though he himself doesn't take it. So that was a memorable event... just the two of us eating home made Yong Tau Foo cooked by my own hubby!

Today is a new day... yesterday's mistakes are forgotten

Why do our guys get on our nerves so much sometimes? I was so mad at MH because he was behaving like such an MCP yesterday afternoon. I put the clothes in to wash in the morning before church so I could hang them up when we came home. After church as we walked through the door, MH was just like "Serene, hang up the clothes"... and he just walked to his room to play computer games!!! I made the mistake of bursting my temper at him. So of course he wasn't happy either. So we didn't talk for the rest of the night. I was so mad! But this morning when he woke up, he stole a quick kiss when he thought I was sleeping... so maybe he's making up for it. I forgave him already anyway. It's new day after all.

I was ranting about this to a friend. This was her response:

"oh no, i didn't think that MH could be an mcp. not at all.took u for granted eh? well, at least he did make up ...the cheeky way =) had a revelation yest. know how we sing "His mercies are new every morning" - God actually forgives us everyday. it's like groundhog day with a clean slate and yet when we make the same mistake or sin the next day he goes," I',m not taking account". kewl eh. just thought of that cause there's things that I do that i'm not totally pleased of and yet God is so merciful and faithful."

Savour the moment

I was listening to a friend who was telling me how frustrated she was that her BF recently moved house to somewhere much further away from her place. It was especially frustrating since the both of them are extremely busy people. She was a cell leader and actively involved in church as well as many sports activities. He also had a lot of after work activities and sports practices to attend every week. Their relationship was becoming strained because they had so little time together.

I reflected that it would be good to persuade him to move to a place that is not so far away… and possibly but down on some of their team sports activities and devote the time to playing couple sports like tennis together. But sometimes, all this could be a time of testing… if a relationship can withstand this difficult and strenuous time, then it shows that both people are strong enough to retain your individuality yet able to flow together as a couple.

MH and I also find it frustrating at times that we have so little time together. Even though we see each other every night before we sleep, sometimes we’re just to tired to talk… especially MH… I discovered that the male species gets more easily tired of using his voice and runs out of words faster than the female of his kind. The male just feels numb after a hard day’s work and just want to stone in front of the TV or computer. This can sometimes be very frustrating indeed for the female who has a lot of thoughts and feelings she is bursting to share or just has an earnest desire to connect and communicate and bond. Or maybe it’s just me. MH says it’s just so amazing that I can have so much to say every day.

But we do have our private ‘time outs’ throughout the week… like movie night on Mondays/Tuesdays, bus rides home after bible study on Wednesdays, dinner together on Fridays, and McDonalds breakfasts on Saturdays. These are little moments that I treasure. When the whole world seem to be rushing by, it’s good to take a moment to stop and let it rush buy while you stop and savour the moment with someone you love. Nice thought.

Butter milk buns

It's Sunday night. We didn't go to the cafe today. After church we went home and just rested. I took a nice afternoon nap.

We ate peanut pancake for a snack just now. It's a delicacy that has endured for a long time. The Straits Times Life section featured this delicacy and rated all the top places that sell peanut pancakes. There is a stall near our our flat at Queenstown MRT that sells it for 40 cents a piece. It's not too bad... they are quite generous with the peanut filling and it's quite cheap too.

Talking about this type of thing. I recall the lovely butter milk bun mom used to buy for our tea from Menggatal. How I used to look forward to eating it after school when mom came home from work bringing those steaming hot buns with the soft golden filling. I wonder whether that bakery in Menggatal is still operating. Do you know that the only place I have ever managed to find butter milk buns is in KK? I have never come across it in any bakery anywhere else in KL or Singapore or even JB. Is it purely a local KK creation? Something like our unique Tuaran Mee? I am craving for it even right now as I type this sentence.

I have been trying to find the recipe on the internet for butter milk buns. Do any of you know where to get the recipe? I hope it's not too difficult to make.

*Stomach rumbling*

Of Laundry and Hair-mountains and more Affogato...

Just came back from the cafe tonight. We meant only to drop by a while as it was not actually our turn on duty, but in the end we stayed all the way until 1.00am. I think MH and I are both feeling a little tired and snappish. This is not meant to be a long term practice of working there every weekend. But since this business belongs to us, we are driven by every bone and sinew in our body to labour for it to make it work. But we both cannot deny that this will eventually take a toll on us. So we definitely need to find a solution to improve the whole system of running the place, so that we will not have to feel the need to "help out" all the time, or worry about whether everything will run smoothly if we are not there. It was really busy at the cafe just now - full house! If we hadn't dropped by to help, Mabel and the rest of the staff may have found it difficult to manage.

Sometimes I feel that MH and I don't have enough time to spend with each other. But I can't justify it because every time we are together, we don't do anything in particular. MH is a little more objective when it comes to matters like these... like maybe going out somewhere to eat or going out to play sports. For me, it doesn't matter... as long as we're together. Maybe I need to give a more specific suggestion of something to do if I ever declare that we are not spending enough time together. But it's so irritating to always think of something to do... because many times, I really don't have anything particular in mind... Catch-22. Or maybe I'm just saying this because it's been a long day... it's almost 2.00am now... and we still have to wake up at 7.00am for church tomorrow... and perhaps drop by the cafe tomorrow afternoon/evening? The weekends always seem to fly by too quickly.

I am folding the clothes as I type this entry. The house is in such a mess. MH complains that I drop too much hair. I think this is a common among women. But we usually don't realise because there's always someone to clean the house. But in my case, it's up to me to clean the house! I need to be more conscientous about it. Otherwise my hair will start piling up in mounds in every corner... scary thought.

I tried making Affogato this morning for MH. It wasn't perfect because we used 3-in1 coffee instead of pure espresso... and the ice-cream had ice crystals in it because our freezer is not very good... and I had to use a plain metal spoon to carve our pieces of ice-cream instead of a nice round scoop because we don't have a proper ice-cream scoop. But MH said it was quite nice.

Okay, back to folding the laundry!

Good night.

Affogato all the way!!!

A quiet night tonight just between MH and I.

We are not on duty at the café tonight. We’ll have a simple dinner and just walk around the neighbourhood or just relax at home. Should we snack healthy on soda crackers and fruit… or binge on Oreos and ice-cream. I have a craving for the smell of coffee… not necessarily to drink it… but the smell itself is addictive enough.

We have a lovely little coffee brew at the café… our franchisor has named it ‘Coffee and Ice-Cream’. But the actual Italian name for this drink is ‘Affogato’. I think ‘Affogato’ is a far more romantic name and will inspire more people to try it. I was inspired to first try it at the Olio Café in Perth because of the exotic name. It’s a lovely drink and the exotic name makes the drinker feel more classy as they sip it. At least that’s how I felt.

Anyway, there are plans to revamp the coffee menu at our café. So perhaps our lovely ‘Coffee and Ice-Cream will be given its rightful exotic name in the end. Yeah!!! ‘Affogato’ all the way!!!

It’s a simple recipe - just pour two espresso shots over a scoop of vanilla ice-cream. Some people like to top it off with fresh whipped cream. But making espresso itself is an art. I promise to brew you a fantastic espresso when you are at our café. Cappuccino or Americano anyone? Or if you’re not into coffee, we also have Miloccino!

Ironically, I have never tasted a drop of any of our coffee to date. I was never really a coffee person. But I guess I should try the coffee so I’ll be able to know how to improve it.

Just for fun
What do you think of this as my personal slogan to advertise ‘me: “Say It With Serene”
Or how’s this: “If You Can’t Beat Serene, Join Serene”
Or even: “Serene Is Good For You”
Find your own personal slogan at this slogan generator: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan
Or you can simply put in any word just to play around and see what silly slogan it generates.