The problem with perception

Sometimes family members can be the ones that horrify and hurt you the most.

One of the biggest obstables in keeping close family ties lies within the area of PERCEPTION.

It's a common human trait to look at information an automatically form a perception based on what they take in. It could be an instinctive reaction whuch enables us to make decisions and take swift action in a given situation.

However, perception can be bad because we can form presumptions and stereotpype based on what we merely perceive.

I can think of so many examples where I've been guilty of it... as well as where I've been a victim of it... and I've witnessed so many other friends and family around me falling into the same trap.

Squabbles and quarrels between family -- because one party thought that the other had done something to hurt them, when the actual situation was completely different.

Then they feed on resentment and refuse to confront the situation because they are SO CONVINCED that they have been wronged.

Leading to emotional blackmailing... and then more resentment... and so the vicious cycle goes on and on and on...

I can say for myself that it is quite difficult to rise above the trap of perception. We are so quick to judge others and rarely stop to be objective about a situation.

Humans are by nature very self-centered creatures.

A self-absorbed person is one who:
a) Sees everything through a filter of personal cost/benefit
b) Struggles with ability to stop and really listen
c) Functions outside the challenge of team
(Excerpt from sermon by Paul de Jong)

I detest the pessimistic, narrow-visioned, small-souled, self-absorbed creature, who is too blind to see the truth.

More than a religion...

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I was lost"
That is why I chose this way.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
And need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are all too visible,
But God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
Which is why I speak His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.


written by Maya Angelou

Look behind your cereal box

Cereal box recipes can be yummy!

>> Recipe here

Am I sugar or spice?

Was I ever the sweet one?

The key to many people's hearts (especially men like my dad) is a sweet-mouth girl... with lots of sugar & spice.

Would anyone ever describe me as spicy?

I think I was the talkative one.

A very boh liao talker to add.

So what's my flavour?

I hope I'm salty.

22 Questions

For the pessimist side in us...

Question Time: 22 questions for Mahathir
By P Gunasegaram

Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi is only in his third year as Prime Minister but his pre­decessor Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad already has four questions for his administration to answer. They relate to Proton’s sale of MV Agusta; the exit of the former Proton chief executive officer; approved permits for cars; and scrapping of the bridge project. While we would like to hear a better explanation from the government than what has been given so far, Abdullah should not be the only one answeringquestions. I am sure we all have questions for Mahathir too — on how he ran the country for 22 years. Here’s a list of 22 questions or rather 22 groups of questions we would like to ask Mahathir, one for each of his 22 years in power... more >>


Is it just me or is the whole situation in Malaysia getting worse year after year? Back in school, everything was rose-hued and I was quite convinced that Malaysia was the most racially-harmonious state in the world, all issues could be solved with the "Malaysia Boleh" spirit, and things could only get better over the years... growth, prosperity, harmony and all!

So either over the years, I have grown more pessimistic, or my eyes have merely been opened to the sad reality around me.

Leaders seem more careless with their words.
Personal gain is more important that integrity and trust.
The government seems to believe that it's citizens are blind and unintelligent.
And all demands and questions can simply be quenched with empty promises.

But no matter what, I can never shake away the feeling that Malaysia deep down inside is still home. Sabah is still the most beautiful place in the world.

Unposted comments

Sorreeee... I only realised recently that comments posted have not been appearing lately... all my fault... I apologise to some of the faithful readers who repeatedly tried submitting the comments again to no avail.

Silly me. I had forgotted to visit my "moderate comments" tab lately. So absent-minded of me. sigh.

I decided to switch it off for now... and go back to the normal comments posting mode... until I encounter any EVIL spammers that is.

So here's my long overdue response to all those lovely comments...

"Yes mom, Deborah Kerr certainly is beautiful"

"I'll fly back to visit the nest every now and then, dad"

"The latest news we heard from our motherland were so ridiculous, we were laughing until we almost cried"

"The delectable wine was gone all too soon"

"Yes, I'll bake it for you bro, only if you lend me your arm muscle to cream the butter and sugar"

"Macintosh may rule, bro... but their kingdom is sadly quite small"

"Big wave back to you, cousin"


"Keep the love coming!"

More talk on old movies

I really am a sucker for old movies. I remember years ago, every Friday (or was it Thursday?) after school, TV2 would screen old classic movies like "Breakfast at Tiffany's", "The World of Suzie Wong", "Oklahoma" and so many more. Those were golden years of movies.

One of my all time favourites was "An Affair to Remember". It had the most pathetic and sad storyline. A classic tearjerker. I am convinced that all those modern sappy Korean/Hong Kong dramas were inspired by this story.

The basic story is actually very simple: A man and a woman,who are engaged to other people, meet on a ship and quickly fall in love. They agree to meet six months later, but due to an accident one of them is not able to make it.

Like your typical drama, they spin the story out slowly into a looooong drawn out drama... but they certainly do it well! ( IMHO at least )

Most people find this movie to be very slow moving with too much talking. This is quite true. But it has such beautiful scenes. And I love the old grand style of talking that all the characters have. The sad sad music. And those dramatic one liners.

And oh the drama... why didn't she meet him at the top of the Empire State Building as she promised? Why didn't he try harder to contact her? Why didn't she go to him and explain everything? Why do they cry and miss each other so much yet refuse to unite only until the very end?

The main female character (played by Deborah Kerr) had an accident and was paralysed in both legs. She believed that her lover (played by the legendary Cary Grant) would never accept her crippled state (which is stupid, I know, but that's why they call it drama). And then the guy goes away and pines before he and the girl finally reunite at the very end. And she is reassured that he still loves her no matter what the circumstances.

I cried at the ending. I couldn't help it. It was just too sad and beautiful.

All this really sounds your typical Korean drama with the cliche sad storyline. Now you know the mother of all such tearjerker drama stories is in this movie.


Memorable quotes:

"Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories... And we've already missed the spring!"

"There must be something between us, even if it's only an ocean"

[voice shaking, ready to cry] "If you can paint I can walk- anything can happen, right?"


Other comments on this movie >>

Big Hand for a Little Lady

Yesterday as I sat in front of the coffee table, surfing the internet on hubby's laptop, I flipped on the TV to see what was on.

Usually there isn't anything much interesting on Saturday afternoons except for shows on sports, cars and fishing (bOriNg!)

But then I caught the opening title of an afternoon matinee on Channel 7: "Big Hand for a Little Lady". I'm quite a sucker for old movies. I quickly Googled the movie to see what it was about, sounded interesting, so I left the TV on while I contined surfing.

But soon, I started to grow more and more engrossed in the movie... what a story! Why don't they such have great stories and plots in movies today... without the need to insert numerous sexual innuendoes throughout the scenes... this was definitely refreshing... read on if you want to follow my ramblings on what I thought of this movie...

The opening scenes of the movie can put some people off... because it seems to start off as this boring cliche western type film with cowboys, gambling houses and the like...

Brief Synopsis/Spoilers: A family had just moved into town and were staying at the local hotel until their farm was ready. The husband was an ex-compulsive-gambler who had sworn off poker, but had an itch to play one last game. He joined in a big poker game and bet their entire life savings. Mid-way through the game, he suffered a heart attack. So the wife in desperation, reluctantly took over his place (even though she knows nothing about poker!) to avoid losing their 10 years worth of savings. In order to stay in the game, she needed more money to up the bet, so went to the bank to borrow money using her poker hand as collateral. In the spur of the moment, the banker agreed to lend her any amount after seeing her poker hand. In the end the wife won all the money back as well as the entire takings on the table of over $20,000.

What grabbed me: The innocent yet gutsy wife character (played by Joanne Woodward) who decided to take matters into her own hands after her wimpy husband fell out // The funny scene when the boys at the poker table were trying to teach the wife how to play poker // The bank scene when the wife tried to persuade the banker to lend her money solely on the basis of her winning poker hand // The unexpected twist at the end of the movie //

Unexpected Twist: All I'll tell you is that the "innocent little wife" and "wimpy husband" are not really who you thought they were. It almost seems that this story was inspired by Roald Dahl's short story My Lady Love, My Dove. In the end, those mean poker boys who tried to clean out the poor couple's savings are just harmless puppies compared to the likes of the seemingly innocent couple. An ingenious twist indeed!

Favourite Quote: [Banker, upon being offered a poker hand as collateral] "Forty-six years ago, I started lending money in Larry Bingham's back room. My first customer was a drover named Penny. He wanted two dollars on a Brindle cow at six percent interest. He said she gave six quarts of milk a day. You know what I made him do? I made him move that cow into my back yard for a whole week. And I watched him milk her every day. Sure enough, she gave an average of six and a half quarts a day, so I gave him the money at six and half percent interest. Not only that, I kept the 60 pounds of manure she left behind. When you show me collateral, madam, you better make sure it's good collateral. For forty-six years, I've been lending money on good, old-fashioned principles. I stand here now to tell you one and all that I've never been offered a better piece of collateral that I hold in my hand now!"

Other comments on this movie >>

The world can wait...

...Happy Fathers Day!

Men are just big boys

The other day, for reasons unknown, hubby had a sudden impulse to tear open all the boxes of cereal bars to retrieve the free toys inside.



It was done before I could stop him. I started to get cross with him when he pleaded and said that he never had such things when he was a kid, and promised to clean it all up afterwards.

There was a superman x-ray vision pen, a wristband, sports pouch among the little knick knacks he found inside the boxes.

Sigh. Boys will always be boys.

Since the deed was already done, I made hubby make a solemn promise that we will never tolerate such nonsense from our kids next time... because I'm not going to be the one to clean up the mess afterwards... while he and the kids just fool around.

Maybe I will be the fierce parent after all? Hmmm.... naaaaah!

I'm a lazy lizard sunbathing

This is my current favourite morning spot.



The rising sun hits directly right on this spot in the bedroom. And on any clear sunny winter morning, I like to lounge right here... doing some reading, thinking, sipping tea or just daydreaming for about half an hour or so.

I am what my dad used to call a "cold blooded creature" because I retain/conduct body heat so poorly. I get cold rather easily. So like a lazy lizard, I need a little sunshine in the morning to kick-start me for the day.

This sunshiny spot is precious while the sun continues to shine. I will miss it in mid to late winter when there will be more clouds than sunshine.


Trivia time again!!!

I also made an important discovery about the sun these past few months... this sunny spot used to be at the other side on the apartment in the living area in summer... in autumn it disappeared somewhat... and has now reemerged at the opposite side in the bedroom. I know in theory that the angle of the sun's rotation changes over the year... but it's quite an interesting thing to observe it actually happening.

There's a chocolate bar with MY NAME on it!

This is a postcard from my bank. I must be really one heck SPECIAL customer!

Dying wish

She cried because he did not get his dying wish.


I want to go home, he said.

Soft and determined.

His legs were not as strong as they used to be.

His eyes were dim.



I want to go home, he said.

But he could not get up.

He looked up to watch silent lips move.

He could not hear their words.



There was kindness in the girl’s tears.

How could he make her understand.

The children’s faces were a blank page.

He must make them understand.



Eerie silence. Darkness.

I want to go home, he said.

Quietly.

He closed his eyes and sighed.



They all cried. Even the children.

The girl was silent.

He looked down and saw the tears. He heard the sobs also.

If only they could understand.



He looked up.

There was gentle music and a soft light.

I want to go home, he said.

Smiling.

Then he got up and walked.

Two more things...

Whenever Malaysians gather together, two things are certain...

1. We will be eating

2. We will berate and complain about our motherland

Current hot dinner table topics

1. World cup fever

2. The Mahathir vs. Badawi debate

So pretty... what is it?

On our way down to Darling Harbour on Sunday, I took the opportunity to practice my photography skills and snap some random objects along the way.

I caught sight of this pretty little plant.


So pretty eh? It looks like it's been dusted with snow or icing sugar. But I don't know what it's called though. Anyone knows?

A little pain for pleasure

On Sunday after church, hubby and I headed down to Darling Harbour Jazz Festival to catch some live outdoor jazz performances. There going to be performances by string quartet Fourplay, and the legendary James Morrison, ending with a fireworks display at 7.30pm.



We sat down together with MH's recently married ex-classmate and his new wife. It was a very cold and windy day... we were all bundled up in coats and scarves, but I could still feel the chill creeping up as the sun went down. I was almost certain that hands and faces had started to turn a little blue.

But the cold was a small price to pay for such beautiful music... Fourplay was not bad, more bluesy/lounge type of jazz. James Morrison was just fantastic! They played a number of old jazz favourites and even a jazzy rendition of Greensleeves... I absolutely loved it! His band finished off their performance with a BIG drum solo which syncronised with the fireworks display... an amazing sight! Watching fireworks with a drum solo kick is truly an unforgetable experience.

An amusing thing that happened was that halfway through James Morrison's set, I turned to see how our friend's were enjoying it, the girl was enraptured by the music but we found the guy's head bent over--asleep! Imagine that!

MILD spicy soup (which is actually HOT)

What cold and wet but also very interesting weekend it has been so far... It started with yesterday going out for dinner with MH's ex-classmates + partners for SICHUAN HOTPOT/STEAMBOAT... the perfect thing to indulge in on a cold winter's night.

We ordered 2 types of soup, the plain chicken herbal soup and the spicy sichuan soup. For the spicy soup, there were so many different levels of spiciness from ultra-mild, mild, spicy, extra-spicy, ultra-spicy...

Should we try some ultra-spicy for some kick? Then someone mentioned that she had eaten here before and found the mild version to be very very hot already...... serious-ah? ok ok ok... so should we take ultra-mild then? But still need a bit of kick, right? Stick to mild then... (worse come to worse, can mix the spicy soup with the plain one).

We selected many different types of meat, fishball, seafood, vegies, mushroom, noodles... When the soup arrived, I peered curiously at the so called MILD spicy soup... oh my goodness! It was such a hellish red colour, with lots of chilli paste swirling around in it and so many many sichuan peppercorns floating around... so scary... doesn't look mild at all!

We dumped the ingredients in the pot to cook, some in the plain soup, some in the spicy soup... after 8 mins... DIG IN!!!

I took a ladle-full of the spicy soup... must try this MILD soup... one tiny sip... WAAAAHHHH... no joke man, this is HOT... I felt the heat permeate through my body. Then all around the table, one by one we all peeled off our jumpers and jackets...

For around $11 per person, this is definitely a good way to warm up this winter. Very near our place in Burwood.

Pledging lives to one another

MH managed to get a free half-day off to attend his ex-classmate's ROM. I prepared a simple gift to present to the couple... a card penned with some sweet and personal thoughts and a bottle of champagne for them to celebrate their new beginning.

I wanted to give them something elegant and subtle to show the significance of how special this day is for every couple vowing to be husband and wife.

It was a simple ceremony. The couple repeated their vows to each other, exchanged rings and signed the marriage certificate in the presence of two witnesses.



Just 15-20 minutes or so and it was over. Time for photo-taking.



How amazingly simple a marriage ceremony is... if you take away all the other extras like sermons, speeches, music etc... in the end it's simply about two people pledging their lives to one another... such a simple act, yet so profound!

Delectable delights

Tried the delectable dessert wine from Pokolbin Estate... it's very very very sweet and rich.


Lovely enjoyed with this Tiramisu hubby bought for me...

Another wedding

Tomorrow, MH and I will be witnesses to a friend's wedding.

Although... this couple seems to be doing this wedding somewhat more out of necessity rather than more out of love, commitment etc.

Not that they don't love each other. I think they do want this for the long-haul. However circumstances called for this wedding sooner than they might have wanted.

Nope... it's not a baby.

It's PR issue.

The guy had a PR and the girl doesn't. The girl wanted to get PR purely on her own merit by finding a job and getting sponsored by a company. However after 2 months of trying, they realised that this way was a virtual impossibility.

So they decided the best way was to get married so the girl could apply for PR as a spouse.

I personally think that a marriage beginning on such a shaky basis is treading on dangerous ground. It will take a some discernment and wisdom to keep it steering on in the right direction.

We wish them all the best.

Wintry chill

First day of winter is here

Current temperature is 17.8 degrees Celcius

Time now is now 16:18