The hardest thing…

One year!!!

I can’t believe we made it - all three of us: the original two with our little plus one.

 

Looking back...

I used to think think going through labour was by far the hardest thing I ever had to do…. contractions, pushing, stretching, tearing (sometimes) - not pretty at all. Whenever other girls ask me about it, I’m always sorry for sharing too much when I see them wince and grimace. In truth, it isn’t an easy task. There were moments when I could barely think through the pain, and I almost believed I could not go on. But I had to, and I did. And at the end as I found myself staring into a pair of small curious eyes peering inquisitively up at me, I learnt that I had it in me all along.

And then I realised, all that was really not as hard as sleepless nights,  midnight nursings, growth spurts, teething, and everything else that came together with the little bundle. There were moments when I felt it impossible to get out of bed again for the tenth time that night. But I had to, and I did. And as I found myself breathing in the smell of that little bundle nuzzling next to me, I learnt that ‘impossible’ had no meaning to someone who had complete and utter trust in me.

And then, just when I was getting a handle on stuff, that phase ended and I found myself facing another set of new challenges. Try cooking dinner, with a work deadline at the back of your mind, and a hungry baby cruising around at your feet, opening and closing drawers, oops -and almost banging a finger in one. But I had to finish cooking that dinner. And I had to feed that hungry and tired baby. And after bathing, nursing and putting that baby to sleep, I had to sit down and work on that deadline. And I did.

Before all that, I used to think facing exams was the hardest thing in the world. Then I started my first job, and then I found myself in the office on Sunday night working on an impossible task of finishing a report by Monday morning. And then I got married, and after the honeymoon, I thought I would absolutely explode at having to live with a person who saw things ‘that way’ (instead of ‘my way’).

It is an uphill journey all the way. And looking back, it wasn’t because the step before had become lower or easier. It was simply because I had grown stronger. I learnt that by grace, I can find the strength to take another step.

With that spirit, I’m taking a step forward into the new year. Bring on 2012!

P.S. If you’re holding back because of that looming fear of having your life turned upside down once you leave comfort or freedom behind to embrace a new era, be it independence, marriage, parenthood, singlehood… don’t. Once you’ve crossed over the other side, you’ll look back and wonder why you were so afraid of it all in the first place.

This year’s Christmas sweets

So what what’s cooking in your kitchen this Christmas?

Well this year’s Christmas goodies from my kitchen are…

Oreo Pops!!!

An absolutely brilliant idea I got from here

Dead simple recipe but requires some methodical planning for the assembly process.

They are basically popsicle sticks stuck in Oreo cookies, dipped in melted chocolate and sprinkled over with hundreds and thousands.

Hubs was very nice and helped out with splitting open the Oreos for me. He gloated over how perfectly split they came out each time - all cream on one side and clean on the other.

After the chocolate cooled and hardened, I went a step further and individually wrapped them in cellophane and ribbon.

They’re dreadfully sinful, hence I’m imposing a quota of one stick per person.

Fighting apathy

There has been a lot of scum and dirt surfacing in the Malaysian political scene in recent years.

It makes me sick to my stomach to read of atrocities and injustice such as the Lina Joy case, the Teoh Beng Hock tragedy, and the Altantuya murder. These stories all make me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

I don’t know if you are aware or even care about all this. It’s easier to remain apathetic. I know that’s often the case for me. So I make an effort to stay up to date with all that’s happening back ‘home’ as much as I can… lest I forget.

If you are someone who is at all interested in this, here’s something new i recently came across: an exposé on the blatant corruption of the Taib family in Sarawak

It talks about the sad plight the people of Sarawak who had to watch helplessly as their beautiful forests were plundered to feed one man’s greed.

This is just scratching the surface. There are many more of such stories just as evil and just as sad.

Doing Christmassy stuff

Christmas is just around the corner…

Our Christmas tree is up (note the protective barrier around the tree)

We’re singing Christmas carols…

And experimenting with Christmas recipes…

Everything feels so Christmassy… love this time of the year!

A certain kind of laughter

There is a certain kind of laugh inside me which only certain friends can evoke…

And 15, 18, 21 years down the track…

That laugh still makes my belly ache and the tears flow out just as much over the same funny stories we’ve told and retold again and again.

And as we age, the phrase “… when did THAT happen???” and “I don’t remember THAT!!!” comes out more often. So thank God we have the collective memory to share between us so no seemingly insignificant memory or moment EVER gets lost.

Muaks to you girls.

Nathan using wheely-bin as a walker

Another video of Nathan… not an especially extraordinary one. This is just an ordinary everyday clip, this particular one showing Nathan using the little wheely-bin (containing dirty laundry) as a baby walker.

I’m posting this clip up purely for the benefit of Nathan’s grandparents who are desperately suffering Nathan withdrawal symptoms. I know they will be ecstatic to see ANY new clip of their darling grandson’s antics.

This video could have been better done, but it’s hard to be both the director and camera-man at the same time. So if you find this clip somewhat anti-climatic, don’t say I didn’t warn you.